When posing for photos, my beautiful pussy often likes to pretend the camera isn't there, for a more candid shot.
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Saturday, December 1, 2012
OMFGs
So we get this email from South Korea saying they have a judgment against a Tennessee resident who has paid several hundred thousand dollars, but still owes over $500K, would we represent the client?
We agree, and the client says that they will contact the other party and the other party is to send us a cashiers check for the money and we are to hold it in trust until we receive instructions as how to proceed.
The check comes via FedEx. It's for nearly $300k. We are told to take our fees off the top, which we do. The bank releases the funds and we receive instructions to wire the South Korean client the remaining still nearly $300k immediately. Well, thankfully for US, it's Thanksgiving and we can't. Because first thing the next morning...
The bank recalls the cashiers check and returns it to the originating bank. Our funds, however, were in another account, and spent on bills.
Apparently, the check wasn't any good and they were trying to get us to send them OUR money, which is a joke because we don't HAVE ANY MONEY!!
So now, we owe the bank $5500US. This bank doesn't care that we seem to have been caught up in some kind of scheme, or that we COULD have been into them for $300K if it hadn't been a holiday and we had been able to send the money to South Korea to this "client." The bank doesn't care that we are the injured victims here. The bank wants their money and they want it NOW. Unfortunately, we don't HAVE $5500 to give them. We are so screwed.
We are so screwed.
We are so screwed.
We are so screwed.
We agree, and the client says that they will contact the other party and the other party is to send us a cashiers check for the money and we are to hold it in trust until we receive instructions as how to proceed.
The check comes via FedEx. It's for nearly $300k. We are told to take our fees off the top, which we do. The bank releases the funds and we receive instructions to wire the South Korean client the remaining still nearly $300k immediately. Well, thankfully for US, it's Thanksgiving and we can't. Because first thing the next morning...
The bank recalls the cashiers check and returns it to the originating bank. Our funds, however, were in another account, and spent on bills.
Apparently, the check wasn't any good and they were trying to get us to send them OUR money, which is a joke because we don't HAVE ANY MONEY!!
So now, we owe the bank $5500US. This bank doesn't care that we seem to have been caught up in some kind of scheme, or that we COULD have been into them for $300K if it hadn't been a holiday and we had been able to send the money to South Korea to this "client." The bank doesn't care that we are the injured victims here. The bank wants their money and they want it NOW. Unfortunately, we don't HAVE $5500 to give them. We are so screwed.
We are so screwed.
We are so screwed.
We are so screwed.
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Boney Maroni
Boney. What does a person say about this character other than he is a real character. I mean two steps away from being a real life cartoon character kinda character. This man has so many mental problems that a first year psych student should befriend this guy and write his masters program's dissertation on the many psyches of Boney.
He cries to the rooftops when he's being wronged, which is 80% of the time. Yet he will go out of his way to wrong others in his never-ending search to make his penis happy. His boyfriend/husband has a boyfriend, yet wants to work things out with him, while his girlfriend is a psycho bitch from hell who is pregnant with [supposed] Boney's kid. LOL ~oh my fucking gods~ ... and Boney loves the psycho bitch from hell and only kinda likes his husband!
Confused yet? Well, it gets better. Boney is in a constant state of arrest/conviction/incarceration due to his inability to hold down a job, just say "no" to a quick buck [theft], and a psycho girlfriend who is having him arrested, but against which Boney will do nothing to retaliate or prevent this shit from happening. But he wants sympathy. "I'm a fuck up, wah wah wah!" Psycho bitch has him arrested, so poor old Boney has nowhere to live. He moves back in with the husband, searching the skies for his next possible opportunity to contact the girlfriend, but thinks, maybe even believes he is not using him...but let's face it...he is.
And it's not like Boney is a good looking guy! His face looks like it caught on fire and someone tried to put it out with an ice pick! The guy is like 400+ pounds, and can't keep a job! I don't get the attraction...AT ALL.
Boney isn't a thief; he just steals. Boney isn't an adulterer; she came looking for him. Boney isn't a bad father; he just doesn't do anything for his kid. Boney isn't a bad guy; he just puts his own happiness above that of EVERYone else in his life.
I once felt badly for this guy. I thought, "Here's a guy who just can't catch a break! We could help him!" Now, I know that Boney is in it for Boney, and if he can make you believe a sob story to gain your sympathy, empathy, or assistance in any way he does, and will.
I used to think people were stupid, but a person was smart. In Boney Maroni, I have seen the error of that school of thought.
He cries to the rooftops when he's being wronged, which is 80% of the time. Yet he will go out of his way to wrong others in his never-ending search to make his penis happy. His boyfriend/husband has a boyfriend, yet wants to work things out with him, while his girlfriend is a psycho bitch from hell who is pregnant with [supposed] Boney's kid. LOL ~oh my fucking gods~ ... and Boney loves the psycho bitch from hell and only kinda likes his husband!
Confused yet? Well, it gets better. Boney is in a constant state of arrest/conviction/incarceration due to his inability to hold down a job, just say "no" to a quick buck [theft], and a psycho girlfriend who is having him arrested, but against which Boney will do nothing to retaliate or prevent this shit from happening. But he wants sympathy. "I'm a fuck up, wah wah wah!" Psycho bitch has him arrested, so poor old Boney has nowhere to live. He moves back in with the husband, searching the skies for his next possible opportunity to contact the girlfriend, but thinks, maybe even believes he is not using him...but let's face it...he is.
And it's not like Boney is a good looking guy! His face looks like it caught on fire and someone tried to put it out with an ice pick! The guy is like 400+ pounds, and can't keep a job! I don't get the attraction...AT ALL.
Boney isn't a thief; he just steals. Boney isn't an adulterer; she came looking for him. Boney isn't a bad father; he just doesn't do anything for his kid. Boney isn't a bad guy; he just puts his own happiness above that of EVERYone else in his life.
I once felt badly for this guy. I thought, "Here's a guy who just can't catch a break! We could help him!" Now, I know that Boney is in it for Boney, and if he can make you believe a sob story to gain your sympathy, empathy, or assistance in any way he does, and will.
I used to think people were stupid, but a person was smart. In Boney Maroni, I have seen the error of that school of thought.
Legalize It!
According to the Seattle Times, America could greatly cripple the Canadian Mafia by legalizing marijuana. Firstly, WTF?! Canadian Mafia?! boom boom boom! eh? LMAO. Sorry. Apparently, they are making millions of dollars off us and our incipient use of this mood-altering weed. Frankly, I see no reason for marijuana to be illegal. Beer isn't. The THC content can be controlled just as easily as the alcohol content in all alcoholic beverages sold by responsible brewers. I won't bore you by extolling the medicinal and therapeutic uses of ganja, but to say that there ARE both medicinal AND therapeutic uses for marijuana.
For many decades, marijuana has been branded the Gateway Drug, leading America's youth down a long and treacherous road strewn with dirty needles, Hepatitis C, and AIDs. But there are much worse things than these "Big 3." There are lives destroyed, sometimes leaving a maximum body count in their wake. People lose their jobs, their homes, their children, and yes, even their lives all because of drugs. So please don't think I'm belittling the societal problems associated with drugs.
I do want it to be known, however, that beer is the gateway drug. It is legal, readily available to any elementary schooler who wants it, and is in practically every refrigerator in America. It is YOUR ALCOHOL, mommy and daddy, that is what first introduces your American youths to the joys of being high. They may THEN progress to marijuana, but ALCOHOL is where it started.
Think of the revenue the States could generate with marijuana shops like their ABC stores. Just imagine not having to buy school supplies for your child, musical instruments, or computers for their classes because the school boards actually had funding!!
Think of the actual rehabilitation which could take place, were the jails, probation services, police departments, court rooms, and drug rehabilitation facilities not jam-PACKED with marijuana "offenders." Billions of dollars. Billions.
The truth of it is that people don't steal for their next joint. They don't kill for their next joint. They don't hurt people for their next joint. Most marijuana users work hard every day, support their families, and create a better family unit for not being stressed out all the time. Most pot users avoid the necessity for seriously strong mind-altering drugs simply because they choose to smoke a little grass every now and again.
Just legalize it. The parents would be better parents. The workplace would spawn less and less mass killings, and people in general would be happier. Face it; legalizing marijuana would make this country a better place.
Oh yeah! I OWN the factory that makes the soapboxes, so just LOOK OUT! *soft laugh*
For many decades, marijuana has been branded the Gateway Drug, leading America's youth down a long and treacherous road strewn with dirty needles, Hepatitis C, and AIDs. But there are much worse things than these "Big 3." There are lives destroyed, sometimes leaving a maximum body count in their wake. People lose their jobs, their homes, their children, and yes, even their lives all because of drugs. So please don't think I'm belittling the societal problems associated with drugs.
I do want it to be known, however, that beer is the gateway drug. It is legal, readily available to any elementary schooler who wants it, and is in practically every refrigerator in America. It is YOUR ALCOHOL, mommy and daddy, that is what first introduces your American youths to the joys of being high. They may THEN progress to marijuana, but ALCOHOL is where it started.
Think of the revenue the States could generate with marijuana shops like their ABC stores. Just imagine not having to buy school supplies for your child, musical instruments, or computers for their classes because the school boards actually had funding!!
Think of the actual rehabilitation which could take place, were the jails, probation services, police departments, court rooms, and drug rehabilitation facilities not jam-PACKED with marijuana "offenders." Billions of dollars. Billions.
The truth of it is that people don't steal for their next joint. They don't kill for their next joint. They don't hurt people for their next joint. Most marijuana users work hard every day, support their families, and create a better family unit for not being stressed out all the time. Most pot users avoid the necessity for seriously strong mind-altering drugs simply because they choose to smoke a little grass every now and again.
Just legalize it. The parents would be better parents. The workplace would spawn less and less mass killings, and people in general would be happier. Face it; legalizing marijuana would make this country a better place.
Oh yeah! I OWN the factory that makes the soapboxes, so just LOOK OUT! *soft laugh*
Friends
Why is it people who hire a lawyer think they've just bought a friend?
We have [well, had, we've fired her since] a client...we'll call her Lana Lovegood. She thought that calling the office [our HOME] at 3 AM with matters which were NOT an emergency, was fine. Conversations with her were desperate and eratic. She often cited events which were incredible or even preposterous. She made outlandish claims and demanded we do something about them. She is clearly delusional and in serious need of some kind of ... assistance, which we cannot and could not, offer her.
She further assumed that, since we no longer answered her 3 AM calls, it was perfectly okay to park in our driveway at 4 AM and stalk us, waylaying us as we left for court in the AM. ARG! Stalking us, harrassing us, and making us late for court is NOT the way to win friends and influence enemies!
Ms. Lovegood's problems were divorce related, and during the time that she was a client of ours, she never had the problem of an abusive husband in her face, as he was on the other side of the planet living a new life. A new life, frankly, without her and their grown son. On the face of things, I couldn't help but think, "Poor woman! How could he do this to her?" By the end of the third month of trying to locate his sorry ass to sue him for everything he was, is, and would EVER be worth; I completely understood not only How, but Why! he could and did do this to her.
It is my opinion that she is an obsessive compulsive with no skills to satisfy either end of that disorder. She seems to be paranoid, and to be suffering some kind of separation anxiety driven by the fact that her husband had control of her money and she was afraid to do anything against him. NOT conducive to obtaining a divorce, much less doing so in a gainful way.
We never phoned the police about Ms. Lovegood, as she was so desperate and such a mess we didn't have the heart, but we DID fire her as a client.
This proves Slick's Laws of the Universe #4: All Money Ain't Good Money. Remember that, kids. If it looks easy as shooting ducks in a barrel, how are you going to feel once you have a barrel full of dead ducks swimming in their own blood? Feh.
Her whole thing? She'd PAID us to care. No. You PAID us for legal representation. I feel kinda bad for these lost souls, but my bleeding heart days are done. Someone once told me to "...scrape 'em off..." and I have. These days, I CAREFULLY pick and choose whom I let into my inner circle. WAY carefully. Honestly? Cutting us a check doesn't do it.
We have [well, had, we've fired her since] a client...we'll call her Lana Lovegood. She thought that calling the office [our HOME] at 3 AM with matters which were NOT an emergency, was fine. Conversations with her were desperate and eratic. She often cited events which were incredible or even preposterous. She made outlandish claims and demanded we do something about them. She is clearly delusional and in serious need of some kind of ... assistance, which we cannot and could not, offer her.
She further assumed that, since we no longer answered her 3 AM calls, it was perfectly okay to park in our driveway at 4 AM and stalk us, waylaying us as we left for court in the AM. ARG! Stalking us, harrassing us, and making us late for court is NOT the way to win friends and influence enemies!
Ms. Lovegood's problems were divorce related, and during the time that she was a client of ours, she never had the problem of an abusive husband in her face, as he was on the other side of the planet living a new life. A new life, frankly, without her and their grown son. On the face of things, I couldn't help but think, "Poor woman! How could he do this to her?" By the end of the third month of trying to locate his sorry ass to sue him for everything he was, is, and would EVER be worth; I completely understood not only How, but Why! he could and did do this to her.
It is my opinion that she is an obsessive compulsive with no skills to satisfy either end of that disorder. She seems to be paranoid, and to be suffering some kind of separation anxiety driven by the fact that her husband had control of her money and she was afraid to do anything against him. NOT conducive to obtaining a divorce, much less doing so in a gainful way.
We never phoned the police about Ms. Lovegood, as she was so desperate and such a mess we didn't have the heart, but we DID fire her as a client.
This proves Slick's Laws of the Universe #4: All Money Ain't Good Money. Remember that, kids. If it looks easy as shooting ducks in a barrel, how are you going to feel once you have a barrel full of dead ducks swimming in their own blood? Feh.
Her whole thing? She'd PAID us to care. No. You PAID us for legal representation. I feel kinda bad for these lost souls, but my bleeding heart days are done. Someone once told me to "...scrape 'em off..." and I have. These days, I CAREFULLY pick and choose whom I let into my inner circle. WAY carefully. Honestly? Cutting us a check doesn't do it.
Saturday, November 3, 2012
I work and live at a Lawyer's Office. Yay me.
I guess I should start this by saying that working for this attorney is my DREAM JOB. So ignore anything that sounds like whining.
Also, I should say that I'm rather opinionated, and don't mind pissing people off, so...just be fair warned.
This blog is called Stella's Sorry Life not because I feel my life is a sorry one, but because I am so sorry for the people whose paths and lives we have and do cross.
The Attorney I work for also lives with me, so I am basically a captive worker; I have no set hours, which means that all my hours of all my days are subject to being asked to work. Like yesterday, I'm gaming online, and a client walks around to the RESIDENTIAL door to pay their monthly payment. I'm NOT dressed for work, and by all rights shouldn't be subjected to clients while my boss is in court. It's obvious that she isn't here, if she is in court. But okay, I dealt with it.
Also, I should say that I'm rather opinionated, and don't mind pissing people off, so...just be fair warned.
This blog is called Stella's Sorry Life not because I feel my life is a sorry one, but because I am so sorry for the people whose paths and lives we have and do cross.
The Attorney I work for also lives with me, so I am basically a captive worker; I have no set hours, which means that all my hours of all my days are subject to being asked to work. Like yesterday, I'm gaming online, and a client walks around to the RESIDENTIAL door to pay their monthly payment. I'm NOT dressed for work, and by all rights shouldn't be subjected to clients while my boss is in court. It's obvious that she isn't here, if she is in court. But okay, I dealt with it.
So a problem client we have already Fired texts MY phone thinking she has the lawyer. She argues with me for hours about the misconception that a local general sessions/juvenile judge should be able to overturn the judgment made by a state agency and that it shouldn't matter that she is a complete loser with drug charges and no intention of paying the VAST child support she owes to the people who took her kids away because she DOES suck...she shouldn't lose her driver's license. DRIVERS LICENSE?! OMGs! I'd be worried about not having my KIDS and going to JAIL!
But this whole scenario is what happens when you do drugs and walk around trying to deal with business and other people while totally fucked UP!
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