Friends

Why is it people who hire a lawyer think they've just bought a friend?

We have [well, had, we've fired her since] a client...we'll call her Lana Lovegood. She thought that calling the office [our HOME] at 3 AM with matters which were NOT an emergency, was fine. Conversations with her were desperate and eratic. She often cited events which were incredible or even preposterous. She made outlandish claims and demanded we do something about them.  She is clearly delusional and in serious need of some kind of ... assistance, which we cannot and could not, offer her.

She further assumed that, since we no longer answered her 3 AM calls, it was perfectly okay to park in our driveway at 4 AM and stalk us, waylaying us as we left for court in the AM.  ARG! Stalking us, harrassing us, and making us late for court is NOT the way to win friends and influence enemies!

Ms. Lovegood's problems were divorce related, and during the time that she was a client of ours, she never had the problem of an abusive husband in her face, as he was on the other side of the planet living a new life.  A new life, frankly, without her and their grown son. On the face of things, I couldn't help but think, "Poor woman! How could he do this to her?" By the end of the third month of trying to locate his sorry ass to sue him for everything he was, is, and would EVER be worth; I completely understood not only How, but Why! he could and did do this to her.

It is my opinion that she is an obsessive compulsive with no skills to satisfy either end of that disorder. She seems to be paranoid, and to be suffering some kind of separation anxiety driven by the fact that her husband had control of her money and she was afraid to do anything against him. NOT conducive to obtaining a divorce, much less doing so in a gainful way.

We never phoned the police about Ms. Lovegood, as she was so desperate and such a mess we didn't have the heart, but we DID fire her as a client.

This proves Slick's Laws of the Universe #4: All Money Ain't Good Money.  Remember that, kids.  If it looks easy as shooting ducks in a barrel, how are you going to feel once you have a barrel full of dead ducks swimming in their own blood? Feh.

Her whole thing? She'd PAID us to care. No. You PAID us for legal representation. I feel kinda bad for these lost souls, but my bleeding heart days are done. Someone once told me to "...scrape 'em off..." and I have.  These days, I CAREFULLY pick and choose whom I let into my inner circle. WAY carefully.  Honestly? Cutting us a check doesn't do it.